Bollocks

I really enjoy blogging for so many reasons. I get to self-examine. I’ve grown as a person – not only from examining my own perspective, but from reading others’ blogs and incorporating their own into my life experience. Finally there is something spiritual for me about putting my true self out there for all to see.

But it does bother me that I can’t be completely honest. I can’t, or I won’t – I’m not sure. I re-read my blog some days and it sounds like this incredible put-together person who has it all figured out. Sure, I feel like that some days – don’t we all? But I have deep wounds and huge flaws that I am not sharing here.

Sometimes, I don’t share something because it involves other people. You may have noticed but I rarely talk about friends or family in any meaningful way. This is entirely on purpose. I feel that it is my choice to expose myself – and I don’t want to accidentally share something or say something that might hurt people I love. Often my self-searching revolves around a relationship issue and really baring myself out there for all to see would be exposing too much of other people’s lives. I would be willing, I think, to share my own flaws but too often they are wrapped up in someone else’s story, and I can’t safely or ethically expose that story, or tell it well without hurting someone else.

As a result, I usually only share the strong parts of me here. Then I come off as egocentric. I’ll admit that these accusations have some truth in them (although I am working to balance self-importance with human-importance every day).

Other bloggers – do you ever feel like your blog is actually not that good of a mirror into who you actually are? How so?

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7 Responses to “Bollocks”


  1. 1 whit October 8, 2007 at 8:37 am

    I’m the opposite. I put too much out there. On the bright side it makes people worry about me.

  2. 2 Hubby October 8, 2007 at 11:31 am

    I would not call them flaws, but more personality quirks! 🙂 As your hubby I might be slightly bias, but I believe you big heart and passion for making the world a better place out way any of those quirks.

  3. 3 Agatha October 8, 2007 at 11:51 am

    Oh I know what you mean.

    Totally.

    Last month I had a bit of a blog rant about people who send their engagement news via text & it REALLY upset a friend of mine. She took it incredibly personally. But I decided to leave it up, as I don’t want to censor myself too much – as I already have to censor everything anyway to conform to RCM guidelines on patient confidentiality.

    I would say you have to be careful than some as people know who you are in real life, whereas not so many people know who I am or even my real name.

    I think I come across as a bit bad tempered in my blog, when in reality i’m not, but sometimes in my head I am when i’m pretending to be lovely to everyone. x

  4. 4 Tenniel October 8, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    We only ever see glimpses of anyone’s life at any time. Only what they choose to or can’t help but allow us to see at the moment. A blog is like that only more so. Our blogs give glimpses but never full pictures of who we are.

  5. 5 dan leone October 9, 2007 at 1:25 am

    Clearly, great minds think alike. I wrote this back in June:

    http://www.cafeleone.net/2007/06/25/do-you-blog-to-be-yourself-or-to-be-the-you-you-want-to-be/

    It deals with precisely what you are talking about (though far less eloquently).

    The reason for the shameless plug above is that I received a few rather thoughtful replies that I thought you would be interested in.

    The title of the post says it all: Do You Blog to Be Yourself or the You That You Want to Be?

    Ultimately, the point here is that we will always have a different face to present in all the different facets of our lives. The sum of all these is the “real you.” I have idea what that means.

    Anyway, excellent post, as always!

    Dan

  6. 6 circuitBeta October 15, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    If you don’t already do it, maybe you should try writing just for yourself. Limiting your words for the world limits the self examination experience.

  7. 7 Evie May 29, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    Fantastic website you have here but I was curious if you knew of any community forums that
    cover the same topics talked about here? I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get comments from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thanks a lot!


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