What I SHOULD be buying myself this Christmas

Rotten Nachos.  That’s the word Rich uses to describe the smell emanating from our vacuum.  Each time we “hoover”, as the English say, the smell permeates every crevice of our home.

I’d like to take the imagery a couple of steps further.  Kind readers, arrange yourselves into your favorite yoga position and imagine you’re vacuuming your car.  You come across some stale Doritos that your child smashed into the carpeted floor several years ago.  Center in on that smell.  Good. 

Now, imagine the creative folks at JellyBelly came across that flavor and made it into a jelly bean.  It could happen, folks.  And in turn, your toddler snacked on a box of these Two-Year-Old-Stale-Nacho-JellyBelly-Trademarked-Flavor Jelly Beans, spit them out, and again smashed their slimy existence into your car floorboard, left only for you to discover them in another two years while hoovering.

The scenario above might be pure fiction, but the odor is not.  We’ve changed our vacuum bag several times and cleaned the roller brush thingy on the bottom, but nothing gets rid of the smell.  So what’s worse – a house that has been freshly vacuumed, leaving the rotten nacho odor in every nook and cranny of our humble abode – or a house that hasn’t been vacuumed in months?  Lately, I’ve been choosing door number two.

Our vacuum was purchased back when Rich and I were newlyweds – a good ten years ago – and it shows.  I’d love to get one of those fancy new Dysons shoved into my Christmas stocking….

 …but what country does Santa buy the vaccuum for?

 For the time being, our lives are filled with dilemmas just like this one.


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